Eyewear Trends

I wear glasses. Every day, all day. Why? Because I have to. Now I have noticed over past year or so that more and more people are wearing glasses. Are our eyes getting worse? Are people opting out of contacts for the glasses? No and no. What we have now is an epidemic being spread amongst the masses perpetrated by hipster scum where people purchase glasses that have no prescription in them. Yes, you heard me right. NO PRESCRIPTION. Now, seeing as how I have worn glasses since I was a junior in high school, I can tell you, it's not something I would ever willingly choose to do. They get in the way of a lot of things like when I would like to kiss a lady friend or when I want to wear a pair of regular sunglasses. Now these might seem like little things to most, however, on a regular, day to day basis, these things get a bit frustrating. Now you might be thinking to yourself, "Quit whining and get contacts." Yes. I should. But I can't. For some reason, I have the most gorgeous eyelashes in the world. They are long and elegant and graceful and are actually sought after by many. I also have astigmatism which means the actual lenses I need are much larger than regular lenses. So, when my astigmatism-ed contact lenses have tried to meet my eyes through the most beautiful eyelashes in the world, it doesn't work out. I seriously cannot put them in. So I am forced to wear glasses so that I can see. But I digress. This post is in no way meant to make you feel bad about how amazing my eyelashes are.

To the strangers who see me at a bar and say, "Hey, nice glasses. Are they real?", you can take your wayfarers and sit on them, breaking the arm until you can buy a new pair and then do the same thing again. Yes, they're real. Why would I ever want to wear something that is completely unnecessary unless I have bad eyes or need eye protection while shooting a gun? It makes no sense to me. I enjoy snowboarding quite a bit but I am hindered by my glasses. I had to buy a special insert that goes into my goggles that gives me the same prescription as my glasses only to have the piece of plastic fog up and cause me to crash. If I didn't need glasses, I would not wear them. Period. Wearing unprescriptioned glasses is like wearing a helmet while watching television. It makes you look retarded.

I don't even know how to verbalize my disgust for those who unnecessarily wear glasses. Actually, it ios mostly directed towards the men. Women, you wear ridiculous accessories all the time because you are women and that is somewhat acceptable. I am still a bit bothered by the unnecessary glasses, but whatevs. It's the dudes that really bother me.

Men do not wear accessories.

The only "accessory" that is acceptable is a watch, and I don't really consider that an accessory because it serves a purpose of telling time, unless of course you are euro trash and you wear the thick leather banded watch that is way more jewelry than time piece, in which case you need to stop it. now. I can maybe see a small ring or maybe even a necklace, hidden from view, as being close to acceptable (but not quite) but if you are a guy and you are wearing glasses that only serve the purpose of looking cool, then you are no longer a man. You are a whore of the industry and there will one day be a book written about you aptly titled, "Unnecessary Trends: What Really Led to the Downfall of American Society".

I hate you for wearing my pain as your style.

Why do bitches like trendy bars

Why? What the Fuck. Why do women want to go to a place where they have to pay to get in, pay to much for shitty fag drinks, and listen to lame popular music that is so loud they cant hear or be heard in any type of normal conversation? I'll tell you why. Its so stupid girls with low self esteem can feel better about their crappy lives for a few hours. People, and in particular stupid women, love spending and wasting money. They come home from a hard day at the office, maybe they actually had to do some work, and they need to blow (Oh how I wish they really needed to blow) off some steam. No better way to do that than waste time and money, usually not their own (mommy and daddys and or their boyfriend/husbands). Men, women know this is where their power lies. They know they can waste your time and money and this makes them feel powerful. They get satisfaction from watching you do something you dont want to do. Maybe women really are leaders...but thats a topic for another shitty blog. They know that you would rather stay home, play some poker with your friends, go to your dive bar etc. But thats not gonna happen because they need to feel better about themselves. So guess what, we get go to a lame bar, spend to much money, and be miserable all night.
Perhaps the more important question is why do I or any real man put up with this. Why do we let our women manipulate this way. The answer is not pussy. The answer is because we are pussies ourselves. If we were/are real men then we would just take a cab downtown, go the massage parlour, have a rub and a tug, then go to our normal dive bars and drink too much and hang out with our buddies. It comes down to this. If we dont do what they want then we have to listen to them bitch and whine for the next week about how we dont spend any time with them. If we do do what they want then we have to put up with lame shit for one night, compromise. Since we are pussies we do the later. And we get what we deserve. A life of waste and compromise. The massage parlour is sounding better and better.

Just a bunch of whiny bitches

What the fuck? Another shitty blog by another couple shitty bloggers. In our first blog Mr. Hustle and I have decided to lay out our mission statement and core values so that there is no doubt what we are about. These values and statements will be just like the constitution in that we can amend them any time we see fit. So, here it goes.
Mission Statement:
To wholeheartedly voice counterintuitive common sense backed by a lack of scruples, morals and general idiocy. To do our best to provide our readers with something original, even though that will probably never happen. To prove, like Socrates, that nobody knows what they are talking about (including ourselves). And Ultimately, to cast the shadow of doubt on all who have been convinced they have glimpsed some form of the Truth, or Troof as its commonly called now.
Core Values:
1. We hate on everything
2. Nothing is sacred or off limits
3 We will use everything and anything to achieve our mission
4 You are wrong
5 You have a dickfor on your shoulder

So, dear reader, we begin our journey to become antagonists in the blog community and to insult the vagaries and lame ideas put forth by other bloggers. I personally make no promises but I will endeavor to be either drunk or drinking while composing my share of the blogs. I will promise to put all my spite and anger into these posts with the hope that it will stay there. But I know that will never happen. In fact I can feel it seeping back through the keyboard, through my fingers, and into my being. And I feel whole again.
Mr. Hustle...your up next.
Until next time
Dickfor