Blogs

Fuck this shit. I work every day for long fucking hours and I want to write on this stupid fucking page but I never get a chance to and I feel like a jerk for not keeping up with but at the same time don't really give a fuck because nobody reads this shit anyways. But that's not even the half of it. When we started this thing it was a good idea because everyone has to release a little steam every now and again, so why not in the form of a blog? Well, things have gone off course a little bit, most notably the fact that we stopped writing. I think before we get any further into blogging, we need to address a few issues, namely those related to the topic of this post.

I have some questions that need answers.

1. Who the hell came up with the term "blog"?

I mean, this shit sounds retarded. It is an ugly word that sounds so lame when I talk about it because I have found myself in conversation mentioning my "blog" and once it comes out I feel like a complete tool because the word itself implies 1. that I spend an above average amount of time on the computer and 2. I actually take the time to discuss my interwebbing with people I am socializing with whom I don't need to sue the internet to socialize with anyway. Unless of course they are my friends who live in far away places and are huge fans of the interweb ion which case they should ignore this particular rant because I love them very much. But that is besides the point.

2. Why do people feel the need to create blogs about shit nobody cares about?

I know for a fact that nobody gives a shit about what we hate and what we don't hate, so why do we feel the need to write about it and post it in a place where people can see it? I mean, it feels good to write about stuff and to try and come up with clever titles and topics to write about, but of course I will fail miserably at it most of the time (although I am quite proud of my glasses post). I have encountered blogs about peoples cats and I hate cats so I guess while trying to answer this question or elaborate on it I am in fact spinning my wheels into understanding why people do post blogs about mindless shit. It's because they care about it and want to writer about it not really giving and eff as who reads it or likes it or hates it and they continue to do it because it is a new and interesting way to express yourself an feel a sense of accomplishment because you can casually bring up your blog in conversation and feel cool about it. Unless of course your blog i about your cat in which case you should really stop breathing my oxygen, no matter where you are on this planet because cats and their owners are kind of creepy. well, cats are the creepy ones because they stare at you and judge you and are calculating their next move based on how much they want to freak you out.

In some ways I read back over what I have written and it focuses almost more on cats than on blogs and I wonder why because I have not had any specific cat encounters over the past few years that would stir up such emotion.

3. Who reads my blog that I don't force it upon?

Are there people that sit at their computer and just keep clicking the button at the top of the page until they see a clever title and read that? Are there people that read my blog and forward it to their friends and say, "Hey this is fucking brilliant!"? Or do I write on this and pretend that someone is reading it and think that I am clever when really my writing comes across like that of a 35 year old with downs syndrome who is bitter about the way people treat them at the grocery store.

4. Should I really care about who reads this and who doesn't?

No.

The bottom line is I am hating on blogging right now because I have three that I am trying to keep up with and I am not doing a good job of it at all. And I wish I could have the same blogging experience as some of my friends who are kidnapping plates and posting music they create but instead I type this drivel into this machine in my classroom and wish that I could be swimming in the ocean with mermaids.

The Sun

Yeah, that's right. I hate the fucking sun, at least right now. It's all hot outside and shit and when I walk around I overheat too quickly because I am a large man with a high core temperature. So sue me if I get sweaty when the sun peeks its head out from behind the fog every once in a while. I recently went to visit my parents who live about 45 minutes outside of the city and it was so hot up there that I was sweating just standing around. Granted I was wearing jeans because I am starting to feel like men shouldn't wear shorts, but that is a different story. I'm talking about the sun and how much it pissed me off this weekend. Okay, okay, it was sunny and gorgeous and everyone was out running around having a wonderful time in the swimming pools and golf courses and parks with free music, but c'mon. When I take my shirt off for a few minutes, maybe a few hours, I'd like to be able to enjoy myself instead of getting burnt by the harmful UVA and UVB rays emanating from the giant star that lights our galaxy. I mean, my girlfriend can kick it in the sun and get some color, my brother and his friends can be running around half naked and get some color, but the moment I take my shirt of to reveal 6 months of pale teacher flesh, I get ostracized by these nitpicking rays and must deal with a week of not being able to towel myself off quickly because my arms and shoulders hurt too fucking much. Dammit. I enjoy a couple hours in the pool and now must suffer the consequences. Of course, you are probably chuckling to your sun-loving self right now about how foolish I must be to go out in the sun without proper SPF protection. Well, you know what? I didn't wear sunscreen because I forgot and now because I forgot I have skin peeling off of my nose and I am embarrassed because I am surrounded by a ton of teenagers who stare and like to point out the flaws of anybody aside from themselves so I am made to feel insecure by a bunch of pimple faced kids. And I think it is obvious that I don't truly hate the sun for burning me, I am just using it as a scapegoat to push the hate I have for myself in being such a goddamn idiot on a hot sunny day for not wearing sunscreen or just being aware of what the fuck I was doing. I love the sun. In fact, I feel like the sun is inside of me all the time because I am so full of love right now. So the sun is amazing. I am just an idiot and this post should be about how much I hate myself in the sun because I wear jeans on hot days and get too hot and then I wear a bathing suit without any sun protection and get burned and then I have to deal with myself being a total fucking wuss and try to make myself feel somewhat vindicated by posting on a hateful blog about my misdirected hate for something that is so beautiful and nice. I am sorry Mr. Sun. You are a wonderful being and I will stop using such hateful language when in your company. I hope that you have a nice sunny day.